The story of my life (Or should I say paragraph)

I was exhausted…

The harsh buzzing of my alarm clock baited me out of bed like a cracked muscle to minnows. As I left my drowsy headquarters, the composite threshold of my bedroom door snapped in half like a slingshot when I mistakenly stepped on it. My ankle saw the worst of it, with little splinters like grass, running up and down my lower shin. I tip toed downstairs, but only after tediously pulling each sliver out of my now bleeding leg. When I got downstairs, I realized that we had run out of bread to make toast with, so I opted for some cold yogurt with fresh berries instead. After carefully pouring the creamy solution into a zigzag pattern in the bowl, I crept to the fridge in search of our freshly bought blueberries. Only then did I discover they were sprouting some green fuzz, like an adolescent version of the grinch, who had yet to shave for the first time. I gave up, and ran out of the front door with a granola bar in hand; I knew that it was going to be an extremely long day.

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